A Liar's Life

Discerning the Authentic

by Toby Meuli

Several weeks ago I went shopping at an all-organic grocery store in an affluent part of Los Angeles. And I have to admit, while walking the aisles and looking at all this shiny, well-organized, expensive goodness; I was feeling pretty good about myself. I was shopping where important people shop. This is where I belonged, with the rich and well-educated. I bought some yogurt that was socially-conscious and full of natural vitamins—just like me. It tasted fantastic.

Then a few days ago I need some toilet paper. Knowing the aforementioned grocery store was too far away considering the immediacy of my situation, I hustled to the 99 Cent Only store a block from my apartment. I had never been in a “99” (as I later heard it called by a customer) but frequently drive past wondering how any store charges only 99 cents for every item. I was about to discover something confusing and glorious.

Here is the play by play of the next ten minutes…

-I was greeted in the parking lot by a couple of panhandlers and a mechanical horse ride for a penny. I was instinctively drawn to this 1987 relic of my childhood but was discouraged by the line.

-Inside the store there was a loose system of organizational shelving and contrary to my doubts, everything really was only 99 cents. I checked every item I picked up. Some were 2 for 99.

-I looked for fancy displays or a club card system among the white lighting, but came up short. Just brightly colored, mostly generic, stuff. No tabloid magazines either.

-I passed a mother of two young kids who were wrestling as their mom compared items, several guys who I’m pretty sure were homeless, a business woman talking on her Blackberry, a bunch of giggling high schoolers, an elderly couple, an actress who I think is on a TV show, and a very tired-looking man in a mechanic’s uniform.

-I was tempted to buy the following items: (Partly because they were cheap, partly because I felt like I won a prize when I uncovered them) A Justice League calendar, a huge watermelon, a Virginia Tech hat, a 3 liter bottle of soda, a pack of light bulbs, some fresh broccoli, a forearm strengthener, a Bible, socks, a pregnancy test, a box of Wheat Crisp crackers, a Men In Black DVD and a bag of pistachios.

-I did buy: A box of cereal, a bottle of wine, a hands free device for my cell phone, some typing paper, a reading light, 12 nutritional bars (2 for 1 special) and a 6 pack of toilet paper.

-The cashier was very courteous and I wondered what the employment benefits were like. Does she get commission bonuses? How about a 401K? Dental plan? My thoughts were interrupted when, through a toothy half-smile, she asked me for my ID before scanning the wine. Perhaps partly to make sure I was over 21 and partly to make sure I really wanted to purchase a bottle of wine for less than a dollar. I am. And I did.

-As I made my way out, one of the other cashiers was having difficulty with a homeless man who wanted to buy a Gatorade and was 13 cents short. I gave the cashier a quarter and strolled out. The homeless man said thanks.

While unpacking my bag of goodies back at my apartment I couldn’t help but think how strangely real the whole experience was. Despite that store having been around for over 7 years, the 99 felt new. It seemed oddly fresh, even good. The organic grocery store seemed a bit contrived compared to the 99. I’m all for organic socially-conscious goods, but how much of my money is paying for the yogurt I like and how much is paying for an uppity shopping experience? How much of my $4.79 is helping me say something about my person to the world? This yogurts says, “I’m smart and care about the farmers in Uganda.” Or wherever—I didn’t even check. I mean, even if one goes to Wal-Mart one is still saying to the world, “I may or may not have money but I love bulk items and rock bottom prices.” At least that’s what I want to say. Going to the 99 cent store says to the world, “I need stuff. This place has it.” And the best thing is that I don’t think the shoppers at the 99 give a damn what they are saying to the world. Or how they feel when they are in the store. They are just trying to buy stuff without spending too much and get on with more important things in their lives.

So I’m going back to the 99. After all, I can count on some interesting people, dependable prices and hopefully a bit of the authentic. And I just ran out of window cleaner today. I do not however recommend the wine.